


Juice and Fornication

by shangrybible



Category: Shangry Bible
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-12
Updated: 2019-10-12
Packaged: 2020-12-09 16:03:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,013
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20997545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shangrybible/pseuds/shangrybible
Summary: Pope Chaz felt the worm





	Juice and Fornication

The rain pattered outside. Or maybe there was no rain at all. It was one of those nights where it may as well be rainy cause of the wet pavement and blackened skies. The wind made you cold but your jacket makes you wet, so it is like the rain. 

A black cloak in the night fluttered as the creature pulled the bunched fabric to their chest, a grim feature over their cat face. You see this creature resembled what could have been blaze the cat but was actually more likely probably Beerus from dragon ball but with Blazish energies.

You see, this cat was infact Pope Charles 13, aka pope Chas. And this lavenderly hairless catholic was dealing w a disease a disease only those with the true way can catch.

Because u see Pope Chaz is not a catholic. Pope Chaz is the emissary of the epic, vassal of the veneered, student of the Shangry. And that Shangry is none other than The Shangry. 

Pope Chaz exhales deeply against the rainless wet cloudy windy. They can still remember the first time they laid eyes upon the Shangry.

Mormon boarding school: circa 1953

The bright eyed purple cat imp sat politely in their chair as they received the daily word of the Latter Day Saints. For as long as they could remember Chaz learned the good way of the moromonism. Oh how little Chaz loved the words of Jason dean, the president of Mormon.

Chaz loved Jason dean so much, they would often sneak into the Mormon temple just to catch a glimpse of the man floating around in all his godly aura. One day would change their life however.

Pope Chaz snuck into the temple as usual, but when they caught sight of their dear Jason Dean Chaz realized they were not looking at Jason dean but a gangly white carpet lint man. Chaz recognizes him instantly: komaesa. 

The blaze is speecheless as komaeda takes the form of James dean and conveniently explains his whole scheme. The Mormon church was his ruse all along, a simple ploy to expand komaedas control over the universe with colonialism and white men. ( He had modeled the missionary’s off of hinanatica )

Pope Chaz was so disgusted. THEY HATED KOMAEDA. Tears burned their eyes as they turned and creaked the floorboards. Komaeda’s neck spinned around 360 degrees and then another 180, eyes bulging inhumanly.

Terrified, the purple cat broke into a sprint, running away from Mormon Boarding school. Ashamed and shamed, Pope Chaz fell asleep. That night, something evil was encroaching pn them as they slept....

The grown Pope Chaz shuddered as they recalled the memories of that night. As if a metaphor or allegory was happening the wind blew particularly crisp.

Chaz woke up, but Chaz wasn’t Chaz. Chaz had become Hinata. They were in a daze. What is going on?? They thought. But they did not know for they were hinata.

Hinata was in his bed. And then komaeda walked in. Oh no. Not komaeda he was gross. But for some reason Hinata did not mind when Komaedalaid next to him on the bed. But Chaz did mind.

Before you know it koamedas disgusting chapped Saihara desert lips were approaching Hinata excerpt Chaz was hinata and was not happy about this.

Chaz panicked as they realized the impeding komahina they were about to be forced into. But then a shining light and the smell of marijuana manifested with the saxing of the saxes. A man stood before the Chaz and the akomaeda. 

His hair billowed in the neural winds. Komaeda hissed as red streaks reflected the heart of the world and the love of the clout.

Koamedas cracked his entire spine as he prepares to pounce. The man scoffed, and spun the crystal ball upon his finger. A bright spear of light broke through the glass, impaling the komaeda as black sludge burst from the wound. Komaeda let our one last belch as he shriveled away.

Pope Chaz panted, overcome with relief. They looked up at the man. Did you kill him? Is he gone? 

No my child. This is all a dream, komaeda entered your mind to try and joke with you destroy your pure heart. But he will not hurt u in your dreams anymore

Pope Chaz smiled. The wind also stopped. Damn just like movie. The interaction had sparked the flame of passion in Pope Chaz. They were chosen by The man to spread the word of juice.  
Which is of course, Shangryism.

That was what the juice was all along. Years before pope Chaz remembers using that phrase but never understanding what it meant. But now, they knew. With a knighting by the glass klance protruding from the ball, Chaz was christened Pope Chaz.

But now a dark looming shadow persisted. Black sludge inside their mind, creeping into the cracks of the medulla oblongata. The cerebrum. And that night, as Pope Chaz trekked across the college campus on the cold wet dry cloudy slimy rainy night, the juice was suddenly diluted by something else: something purple and something slurrish.

Spasms wracked their body and their senses dulled. In a trance, Pope Chaz used their forbidden teleportation powers to approach the laptop. Then all there was was black.

The sun shone outside. But did it really shine? The clouds are everywhere. The rays are powerful they hit the brick budiling and green blankets of Pope chaz’s bed and the eyes of Pope Chaz. The juice flows again, and Pope Chaz realizes in horror that the laptop is dead.  
Fear shoots down their spine, the world spins. The lights flicker. The laptop is plugged in. 20% 60% 97% full power. Why did pope Chaz wait until full power to see? To see what? 

Chaz watched in horror as the video played. The message had been spread. Fornication. Fornication of the oumalings. Multiplications of the black particles teeming in the neurons. Chaz shook in anger, in shame and a shame and pain. 

The mental fight against the komaeda clan was far from resolved.


End file.
